Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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