next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
