So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
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