We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
