david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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