There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
It was confusing and full of hummus
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
