No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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