pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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