no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
