So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize