dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize