Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
