if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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