her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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