I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize