So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
