i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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