Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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