was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
