He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
