i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
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