Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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