mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize