I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
He passed out mid-signature
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
