How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
