All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize
