This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
