This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
