Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
