Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize
