is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
