there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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