Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
