We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
