apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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