i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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