woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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