***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
