you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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