What did we do last night that was yellow?
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
