it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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