Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
