you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
