And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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