she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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