someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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