You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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