Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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