I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
