The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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