I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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