i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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