Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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