"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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