it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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