just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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