New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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