Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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