Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
