He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
