Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Never joke about your clitoris.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
