found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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