She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
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